After that, Clarissa brought Damian to Ellie’s place. It was a two-bedroom apartment and had a cleaner who came regularly. Hence, even when Ellie wasn’t home, her place would still be very well kept.
After checking out the apartment, Damian felt bored very quickly. He didn’t find anything fun to play with and neither did Ellie prepare any toys for him.
All he could do was cure his boredom by playing with the toys Clarissa brought with them.
Ellie was disappointed to see Damian’s reaction.
“This is unacceptable, Damian. Come, let’s go get you some toys and do some grocery shopping along the way. After that, Mommy can cook us something delicious, all right?”
Damian’s face lit up. Clapping his hands, he looked at Clarissa excitedly. She smiled in return but didn’t say a word.
After that, the three of them headed out.
When they arrived at the mall, they saw that it was crowded with people. Only then did they realize it was a holiday. Damian had wanted to move about on his own to pick out the items he wanted. But given the circumstances, they had no choice but to put him in the shopping cart.
Sitting in the cart and swinging his legs around, Damian would repeatedly ask about everything he saw. “Mommy, what’s that? I would love to have it—”
Whatever he wanted, Ellie bought it.
Clarissa was speechless. At the rate they were going, Ellie was about to buy up half the mall.
“Ellie, if you keep fulfilling his wishes, we won’t have time for any grocery shopping. As for you, Damian, you have already owned many of these toys. What have I told you before? Whenever we go to the mall, you’re only allowed to buy one. So, choose one among all of these.”
Spoilt for choice, Damian knitted his eyebrows and pouted his lips, looking adorable.
The moment Ellie saw his expression, she wanted to offer him everything she had. However, Clarissa warned her off with a sharp glare.
Hence, Ellie could only shrug helplessly at him.
When Damian saw Clarissa’s face darkened, he lost all his courage. After all, his cutesy act never worked on his mommy.
Hence, he had no choice but to choose one toy from the pile. Finally, he picked his favorite toy car and hugged it in his arms.
“Mommy, I have chosen.”
With an irresistible smile that showed all his teeth, a mischievous glint sparkled in his eye.
In the end, Clarissa gave in to his cutesy act and smiled together with him.
The moment he saw Clarissa relent, he requested softly, “Mommy, I want some ice cream.”
Clarissa tapped on his head. “No, don’t let me repeat myself. Alright, let’s go get some groceries and leave. There are just too many people here.”
Under Damian’s instructions, they bought a lot of ingredients. Finally, when they got home, Clarissa threw everything she bought into a pot to make some stew.
During lunchtime, when the stew was ready, Matthew suddenly showed up uninvited.
After looking to her left and right, Ellie finally chose to sit with Damian. All she could do was bury her head in the food while watching him. As for Matthew and Clarissa, she couldn’t care less about them.
Clarissa, too, ignored Matthew as she ate in silence or fed Damian occasionally.
Hence, Matthew cut a forlorn sight eating by himself.
However, Damian kept talking throughout lunch, as if he could sense the tension between his parents. His adorable words and cutesy act reduced the awkwardness at the table.
Ellie even gave Damian a thumbs up discreetly.
Being the smart kid that he was, Damian winked at Ellie. Although he still wasn’t good at it, it was obvious enough for Ellie to understand his signal.
With that, the lunch ended uneventfully.
After lunch, Ellie carried Damian somewhere else to play, leaving Clarissa and Matthew alone in the dining room.
Maintaining her silence, Clarissa stood up to clear the table while Matthew helped her.
While she was doing the dishes in the kitchen, Matthew was more of a hindrance when he tried to help.
Clarissa snapped, “You’re just getting in the way.”
Matthew retreated a few steps and stood by the kitchen door. From there, he watched her busy silhouette and remarked, “Clare, anger will only give you wrinkles.”
Clarissa’s lips twitched as she felt further infuriated.
Matthew continued, “Clare, I’m just concerned for you as being angry is damaging to your health.”
“Hmph! Worried about me? Do you even care about my feelings? If you did and were still concerned about me, you wouldn’t have acted so selfishly against my wishes. You wouldn’t have revealed Damian to the public without first discussing it with me. I know what’s going through your mind. But, do you know what’s going through mine? By doing that, do you know how big of a—”
Clarissa stopped abruptly while her hands suddenly froze. She looked as if she was desperately trying to suppress what she was about to say next.
As he felt a squeezing sensation in his chest, Matthew walked up and hugged her from behind. Despite struggling to free herself with all her might, she finally allowed Matthew to hug her when she failed to break free.
Kissing her gently on the head, he whispered, “Shh—Clare, stop being mad. Stop being mad, all right? It’s my fault. I made a mistake by being too selfish. I shouldn’t have done that. I’ll do whatever you want.”
He was truly heartbroken. At that moment, Clarissa’s eyes were all red when Matthew turned her around to face him.
“Clare, I’m begging you, all right? Say whatever you feel like saying and vent it all out. You can hit me or scold me. Just don’t ignore me—”
He could feel that she was suppressing something frightening inside of her.
Finally, Matthew sensed that there was something wrong with her. Whatever it was, it had triggered her unusual reaction in the manor last night.
Lifting her face and holding her gaze, he saw in her reddened eyes a sea of pain. It hurt him so much that it felt like a death sentence.
“Clare, what is it? Tell me, all right?”
At that moment, she broke into tears. However, she suppressed her sobs in his chest. Biting her lip and choking so that Damian wouldn’t be able to hear her.
However, her attempts only made Matthew feel worse.
Without a care, he picked her up and carried her out of Ellie’s apartment.
When Ellie, who was playing with Damian, heard the door close, she was jolted for a second. However, she continued playing with him as if nothing happened, worried that he might suspect something instead.
Meanwhile, Matthew had carried Clarissa into the car and settled her on his lap. He then patted her on the back to gently console her.
“Clare, go ahead and cry. After crying, you will feel a lot better.”
However, Clarissa didn’t do so. After sniffling in his embrace for a long time, she finally fell silent.
Just when Matthew thought she had calmed down, she suddenly spoke.
“Matthew, I admit that I’m feeling insecure. After what happened three years ago, my fears have simply intensified especially after having Damian. I love him so much that he means more to me than my own life. I know that you will protect us both. But—”
Overwhelmed by anxiety, she stuttered for a while as she was unable to formulate her words properly. Just when she was about to painstakingly express her true feelings, her thoughts became muddled instead.
“However, you don’t understand how it feels like. Perhaps, it’s the result of trauma from the earlier incident. Or maybe I’m just being paranoid. I just can’t shake the feeling that your family or someone else would come and take my son away. This may hurt your feelings but when I gave birth to Damian, I was worried that even you would take him away from me.”
Matthew’s sadness was further intensified by Clarissa’s revelation.
She must have been emotionally scarred by what happened three years ago.
He assumed that she had put the past behind her by now. There can’t be anything else other than anger and hatred, can it?
Evidently, he was wrong.
Deep down, Clarissa was traumatized by the incident.
Nevertheless, she continued to explain candidly.
“When I had just given birth, a lot went through my mind. I thought about you fighting over Damian with me, about Grandma leaving me one day, and about me dying alone with no one by my side. To be honest, those were really frightening thoughts. It wasn’t the thoughts themselves that were frightening, but the fact that I was having them. I was just a hair’s breadth away from falling into depression.”
Just as Clarissa spoke, she shook her head. “Luckily, I didn’t. After going through a terrible period then, I consider myself more optimistic now. I can now move forward together with you and not fear it. However, I cannot put Damian in any danger. As to me, he is more important than you.”
Matthew didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry when he heard those words.
All he could do was to show his understanding, “All right, I understand. Damian is very important to me too.”
“Any situation that potentially involves taking Damian away just frightens me. Matthew, perhaps I’m sick in the head. It’s just that I refuse to admit it. Or, it may not be serious enough to be noticed yet. However, I do recognize that I can’t undo the fact that they now know about Damian. What I want to say is that despite being angry with what you have done, I will still protect my son. He is everything to me. If your family shows any intention to hurt him or take him away from me, I will do everything in my power to stop them, even if it costs me my life.”
Although Clarissa didn’t explicitly say that it included Matthew, he was cognizant of the fact that he was one of them too.
In Clarissa’s mind, Matthew was dispensable when it came to securing Damian’s safety.
