It was very quiet at night. The lights in the room were not on, so the only source of light was the moonlight that streamed in through the window. It illuminated all the furnishings in the house.
Su Zhan softly padded over.
Qin Ya had just laid down on the bed. As she couldn’t fall asleep, she sketched for a while. Only when her neck started aching did she stop. She was aware that someone had opened the door of her room, but she didn’t make any noise and just shut her eyes, pretending to be asleep.
Su Zhan didn’t notice her small movements as the light was rather dim. He couldn’t see Qin Ya’s expression.
He placed the chair next to the bed and sat down, gazing at her quietly.
He had many things he wanted to say to her, but he didn’t know where to start.
He didn’t know how to express his feelings.
Wrapping his hands around hers, Su Zhan lay on her body. Everyone else was already deeply asleep. Only he was wide awake as he listened to her breathing and gazed at her.
He was filled with endless regret, and it left him without even a moment of peace.
Quietly, he just imagined how she looked like in his heart.
Even though her looks had changed, he was sure that deep down, she hadn’t.
Everyone made mistakes sometimes. I am no exception.
I don’t wish for your forgiveness. As long as I’m able to see you, I am happy.
Qin Ya, I’m so sorry. I hurt you and made you sad. I caused you to lose your child. I’m very upset about this too. If I hadn’t been such a rascal, I would have been a father soon.
Every night, I wish I could forget all of this. That way, it wouldn’t be so painful.
I wasted the opportunity that was given to me.
If there’s a chance to start over, I’ll definitely take care of you and not let you come to any harm.
I’ll stay with you forever.
It’s alright if you hate me. I just hope that you’ll remember me for as long as you can.
Qin Ya, you made me realize what true love is. Even if you hurt me, I still want to win you back.
Even if you scold me, my heart still feels warm.
Qin Ya, I’ve never fulfilled any one of my promises to you.
Qin Ya, I feel so sad. I’m really so sad.
No words can describe how I feel.
He sat there until five o’clock in the morning. His eyes were shut, but he wasn’t asleep. Instead, he kept thinking about many things.
Worried that she would notice him, he reluctantly let go of her hand upon realizing that his own was full of sweat.
Gently, he kissed her forehead. “I love you. Forever.”
He stood up, then waited a few seconds to check that she was still asleep. Then, he put the chair back and left silently.
When he closed the door, the woman that Su Zhan thought was fast asleep opened her eyes. She flexed her fingers slowly – she could still feel the warmth of his hand.
Opening her eyes, she stared at the ceiling as tears started to fall, trickling down her face.
It had been a difficult night for her too. But no matter how much pain she was feeling, she could only endure it alone.
She couldn’t change the situation she was currently in. The only thing she could do was to overcome it.
However, she had no courage to face her feelings.
She had previously told Lin Xinyan that she still believed in love, but that was only to pacify the woman.
Where could she find the strength to face her fears?
After she lost her child, it constantly felt as if something was missing from her body. Her heart had turned to stone.
The sky gradually brightened. The night was over, and it was now the start of a bright, new day.
Qin Ya slowly shut her eyes. She didn’t want anyone to know that she hadn’t slept a wink the whole night.
At around six in the morning, Aunt Yu and Aunt Wang woke up. The latter was very good at cooking, so Aunt Yu let her do most of the work while she stood at one side and advised her on the family’s dietary habits.
Zong Yanchen woke up early while Zong Yanxi woke up much later. Even after sleeping in, she would lay in bed for a while.
Upstairs, Lin Xinyan had already woken up. Thinking that Su Zhan would still be around, she quickly got out of bed. Just as she was about to lift the blanket, someone stopped her and pressed his leg on her. “Sleep for a while longer.”
Lin Xinyan turned to look at him. “It’s already morning. Move your leg.”
