As one stepped forward, the other kept retreating. The spark of fire in Leon’s eyes was burning, but Heather naturally wouldn’t agree to something she disliked.
However, he was pressing close to her at this moment, and just like that, the two of them maintained an ambiguous distance. It was Heather’s first time seeing Leon so anxious, and the atmosphere around them instantly became awkward.
At such an odd family banquet, Heather felt helpless and alone. It was as if she and Leon were on an isolated island—no matter what they did, the others would pretend not to see.
Unfortunately, she no longer had any space to back up and, at the same time that she was desperately trying to conceal the truth from the others, she was still trying to think about how to avoid Leon’s impulses. Using her forearms, she pressed up against his chest to block his approach. From what she could tell, he was not the least bit conscious of his actions at the moment, and twin embers of flame—ones of rage—leaped up in her eyes as well.
There had to be all sorts of reasons her usually obedient Leon suddenly seemed to switch personalities, and as she searched her brain for possible reasons, she exerted all of her strength to hold him away from her.
By now, she was already exerting what seemed to be a supernatural amount of strength, but he was completely undeterred. In disbelief, she stared at him—she never knew he had so many secrets hiding in him.
Whether or not he was intentionally being deceitful, she was not happy about the fact that he had concealed the truth from her. At this rate, she was even beginning to suspect that they weren’t actually even close friends. All of his sworn promises from so long ago seemed like a mirage now.
“Do you have to do this, Leon?” she questioned in a voice that only both of them could hear.
His grin made her scalp tingle, and she turned her face away so that she wouldn’t have to look at his crazed, terrible smile. Right now, she felt so disappointed in him. It seemed they would genuinely no longer be able to return to what they were before the dinner. In the past, she always felt like she was hiding things from him; now, she knew that he hid from her more than she ever did from him. In fact, she felt like she had to get reacquainted with him.
“I have suffered through my love for you, Heather.” The sudden confession shocked her into stillness and made her wonder if everyone else was looking over.
“Come back to your senses, Leon. Do you remember why you asked me here?” she begged, keeping her forearms where they were to prevent him from approaching.
From others’ perspectives, they looked like intimate lovers whispering together. Without taking a closer look, they might even think that she was leaning against his chest.
“I only feel like kissing you at this moment.” He was determined to achieve his goal no matter how long they had to remain in this stalemate.
“I don’t love you, Leon. We will never be together,” she told him plainly, not caring if her words would hurt him.
“I love you and want to have you to myself.” No longer did he wish to conceal his true feelings. After all, how could he be so magnanimous as to share her with others?
This was her first time coming into contact with his true thoughts so directly. Conflicted, she chewed on her bottom lip. She had to think of a way to make him give up on her but, if he still had feelings for her after so long, how could she make him give up the idea entirely at this moment?
“If you keep acting like this, we can’t even be friends,” she lectured him to make him aware that she could very well do without him.
“Why can’t you accept me, Heather?” he asked in an unusual amount of pain. “Why?” He had no idea why he couldn’t compare to Matthias. Why couldn’t she just give him a chance?
“We’re friends, and we can only be friends,” she emphasized heavily. Perhaps, in the past, she had thought once or twice about eventually becoming lovers with him, but that was before Matthias’ appearance.
“Am I inferior to Matthias in some way? I’ve been by your side for so many years. How could you not see all that I’ve done for you?” he asked emotionally as his voice grew slightly louder.
Yet, even as they argued, everyone else acted like they couldn’t see anything. Only Dave looked over from time to time but did not reveal his thoughts.
Staring right at Leon, she informed him truthfully, “That’s just not how love works. I don’t know how to explain these things to you—I don’t even know if I actually love Matthias right now, but I am certain that I don’t love you. It has nothing to do with Matthias.”
“So, you’re not sure if you love him, but you’re willing to hitch your wagon to him and engage in a love-hate relationship with him. What about me? Have you truly never felt the slightest interest in me? If you have, why won’t you give me a chance?” The fact was that he knew all about and had noticed her budding interest in him by the sole virtue of how well he understood her—yet, she refused to be with him.
In truth, that greatly dissatisfied him. If she had just been willing to give him a chance, they would be an actual couple now with no need for pretense. In the past, he thought that he would be able to show off his love for her. It was only later that he realized it would never happen.
“Why did you have to pick such a time?” She was infuriated that he had, once again, played her and created a scene where she could neither truly get mad at him nor leave him behind and walk away.
His only reason for choosing an occasion where she couldn’t escape would be to force her to listen to everything he had kept in his heart for so long.
“I know you care about me and treat me well, Heather, and I know that I’m being despicable, but I truly don’t know how to go on without you,” he murmured in pain like a weak child.
“Don’t do this. It’s so embarrassing. Have you forgotten where we are?” Her heart ached at the look on his face, and she was afraid that he would start tearing up in the next second. She had seen him tear up before, and it made him look fragile in a way that felt even more heartbreaking than when a woman cried. Perhaps that was what it was like when beautiful men cried!
“I don’t care. It was only the two of us together in the past—there was no Matthias. That was fine because I knew you didn’t care about dating, but I can’t accept that you could fall in love with another man,” he replied petulantly, starting to fuss.
“It wasn’t just us in the past. You had so many lovers and ex-girlfriends. You know how much they all hated me. You turned my existence into a hateful one; God only knows why I maintained my friendship with you for so long.” When she recalled those days, she instantly felt anger surge up in her.
Every time he had a new partner, she would go out of her way to keep her distance. After all, he would no longer be single then, and she had no wish to become a homewrecker. Ironically, that was when he would show up and try his best to cling to her. The more it happened, the more she hated it, and eventually any interest she had in dating him was worn away by annoyance.
“I only wanted to provoke you,” he told her gloomily.
“Oh? And when you were rolling around in the hay with them, were you also trying to provoke me? Or were you simply trying to fulfill your biological needs?” she asked him in return. There was no way she could accept him, given how complicated his dating history was. Ultimately, she preferred someone with a simpler history.
Her words made him turn red with embarrassment. No matter how thick-skinned he was, he couldn’t be unembarrassed by having their past brought up like that. Right now, he deeply regretted using such childish methods to make her jealous. If he had only been a little bit more mature, perhaps they wouldn’t be here now.
When she saw how dispirited he looked, she knew her words had hit their mark. There were many things they never talked about, and perhaps it was for the best that everything was being laid bare now.
“I’m sorry I was so childish. I shouldn’t have used those methods to provoke you.” He no longer had any reason to argue with her for he had, indeed, done wrong in a way that he regretted the more he thought about it.
“I know it’s hard to give up on loving someone, Leon, but you must figure out whether you truly love me or simply feel some measure of infatuation. After all, we’re not together. If we were actually to be a pair, perhaps you would realize we aren’t incompatible and that you don’t love me,” she advised him using a different perspective. She didn’t know whether it would convince him, but at least it would bring him back to his senses.
Summoning his courage, he said, “Even so, I hope I can kiss you. I don’t know if you can understand where I’m coming from, but I’ve hoped in my heart for so long that I would get the chance to kiss you. I just feel that urge whenever I look at your lips, and maybe I’ll be able to stop this madness after I’ve kissed you.” Since he didn’t dare force a kiss on her, he could only ask for a chance.
The sudden sincerity startled her, and for a moment she was at a loss for how to refuse his request. Dumbly, she stared at him, and he stared right back. In the eyes of outsiders, they were staring at each other lovingly. Thus, the occasional person would even cast them a curious look. From afar, they looked harmonious and incredibly well-matched, and it was a scene that lifted the spirits of the onlookers.
“Not now.” She couldn’t refuse him, but she wasn’t prepared and had no wish for the kiss to take place right now, anyway.
Her answer left him simultaneously happy and crestfallen. He was disappointed that she was refusing him right now but happy that she wasn’t completely rejecting him. Perhaps there was still a chance for him to turn things around and he had to wait patiently.
“I want to hold you, Heather.” He was somewhat tired. Being in a stalemate with her for so long had sapped all of his strength, and he suddenly felt empty and in need of a warm hug.
Since it was a hug, she didn’t feel like she could refuse. Hence, she took the initiative to lean against his chest and listen to his heartbeat. All of a sudden, she recalled a certain summer night while they were still at school when they stood on the balcony and held each other just like this. The best years of her life had been with him.
Dull studies became more interesting with him by her side. It turned out that all those years ago, he already slipped silently into every nook and facet of her life.
“I wouldn’t change a thing about the years we spent together, Leon. I hope I can be your friend for the rest of our lives.” Suddenly, she felt exhausted as well, so she stayed in his embrace.
Just like that, they held onto each other as if they were two children seeking warmth from winter’s chill. Of course, this was the moment that Dave finally lost his patience and decided to go over and make small talk with Leon.
