As night fell, the house was only lit up by a small desk lamp. Han Muzi had already taken her bath and was now wearing her pajamas while sitting on the bed. At this point, she should be sleeping, but she did not feel like it.
Under the night lights, a golden button lets out a faint light on her palm. It might be the warm coloration of the night light that made the color of the button feel warm too.
She slowly drifted away as she stared at the button on her hand. This button was the button that fell into her shirt from a mysterious man five years ago on that rainy night. As Han Muzi thought about it, she tightened her grip on the button and her mind started to drift away.
Back then, she entrusted Han Xueyou to help her find the owner of this button, but after a wild goose chase, she found out that it was Ye Linhan. The news shocked her, and she felt immensely guilty in front of Ye Moxuan. Although she never said it, in her heart, she always believed that the child was Ye Linhan’s. That was why she avoided him as if he was some poisonous snake.
However, ever since Little Bean was born and slowly grew up, the structures on his face became more and more similar to a different man. The notion of this confused her; it was unimaginable and downright shocking. It was absurd.
Even if the child was Ye Linhan’s and possessed the genes of the Ye Family, it was still impossible for him to look just like Ye Moxuan. That was why Han Muzi sometimes wondered whether the mysterious man was Ye Moxuan himself. Yet, after she married into the Ye Family, he kept on saying the child was a bastard.
Since having the realization in her head, Han Muzi’s first thought was to push out this horrifying idea from her mind. How could that be possible? How could that be possible??? If it was him, then fate has made a fool out of us. She couldn’t accept it. During those times, Ye Moxuan’s attitude and Han Xueyou’s words made her feel… hopeless. If it hadn’t been for Little Bean, she would not have continued living. As she thought about it, the grip of her hand on the button became tighter until her fingers turned white.
Creak! The door to the room was suddenly open, and a tiny figure squirmed inside. The figure quickly took off their shoes and crawled onto her bed.
Han Muzi was almost scared witless and she instinctively hid the button under the blanket to prevent anyone from seeing it. It was her secret which she buried inside for so many years.
The little rascal who came in hugged her and pleaded, “Mommy, I don’t want to sleep alone. I want to sleep with you.”
Han Muzi calmed her frightened heart down and her soft voice was heard under the night lights. “You’re all grown up now. You can’t keep sleeping with me anymore. You’re a man and I’m a woman, so it wouldn’t be too appropriate. Do you understand?”
Little Bean leaned his head on her arm with discontent. “No. I’ve not grown up yet. And, you’re my mommy so there won’t be any problems. Mommy, I’ve missed you after I started sleeping on my own lately. Please let me sleep with you tonight.”
Han Muzi remained quiet and uttered, “Little Bean…”
“Mommy, you keep saying that I have grown up. Does that mean I can go find my daddy now?”
Initially, Han Muzi wanted to convince him to go back to his room and sleep, but his sudden questions shocked her. Is fate changing its course?
Back when they were abroad, Little Bean was exceptionally lovely and never asked her about his father. However, ever since they came back, he wouldn’t stop bringing it up. Then, right after she ordered Ye Moxuan not to look into her, Little Bean got into her bed and asked this question. Is this merely a coincidence?
Han Muzi pinched the golden button hard and kept it in her palm. “Why are you asking this all of a sudden?” She had a look at Little Bean, who was inside her arms, and tried to soften her voice. “You… never mentioned this before when we were abroad. Why now?”
Little Bean pouted his lips. “Mommy, you were working very hard back then, so I was being considerate, but now that I’m all grown up, I can go find daddy myself.”
Han Muzi stayed silent.
“Can I, Mommy?” Little Bean shook her arm. “I’m good at it. I can find my daddy!”
At this point, Han Muzi choked on her breath. She finally realized Little Bean wasn’t joking with her after having mentioned it several times. He really wanted to find his daddy. Although it was impossible for someone as young as him to find Ye Moxuan, Han Muzi still felt a little nervous, and so she snapped, “I won’t allow it!”
Her voice was stern and it stunned Little Bean. “M-Mommy…”
“Did you hear me?” Han Muzi asked and glanced toward Little Bean.
Little Bean blinked his eyes and they started to turn red. “But Mommy, I… want to find daddy.”
“Didn’t I just say you can’t?” Han Muzi couldn’t believe he didn’t bother to listen to her and was still persistent about finding his daddy. Suddenly, she became sterner and didn’t hold back her words. “Your daddy is dead now. You don’t need to find him because you can’t!”
Little Bean was left speechless.
After Han Muzi was done, her eyes were also starting to tear up. They were both teary-eyed. A while later, Han Muzi closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose. “I’m sorry, Little Bean… Did I overreact just now?”
It was fine while they were still staring at each other, but after Han Muzi softened up to talk to him, Little Bean couldn’t hold it back anymore and he started bawling.
The voice of his cry stung Han Muzi’s heart like a needle, and the pain she felt stopped her breathing for a second. She didn’t know what to say to him since she couldn’t retract the words she just said, so she reached out to hug him. “I’m sorry, Little Bean. I’m so sorry. I’m a bad mommy… I shouldn’t have scolded you.” As Han Muzi was saying this, drops of tears started running down her face. The tears fell on Little Bean’s neck drop by drop—like pearls breaking out of a necklace.
Little Bean was surprised by her tears. Even though he was still crying, he realized that this was the first time his mommy cried in front of him like this. She could not stop the tears that were pouring out of her eyes.
“I’m sorry… I have wronged you. I’m so sorry.” She kept on repeating the same words as though she was in a trance.
Seeing Han Muzi this way, Little Bean suddenly felt that he was being unreasonable. He stretched his tiny hands to hold onto Han Muzi’s neck and brought his warm face over. “Mommy, don’t cry anymore. I won’t… ever mention about finding daddy anymore.”
Han Muzi couldn’t stop sobbing as her tears kept flowing. She hugged Little Bean and continued crying her heart out.
