In the car on the way home, the silence left Leon swallowing his words multiple times. Heather’s expression was such that he dared not address her even though he could never have predicted how things would progress.
“Send me back to the Langston Residence,” she told him. She didn’t wish to pour all of her frustrations on him because after all, he couldn’t entirely be blamed for the situation.
Only because she spoke up first did he dare answer her. In the end, Leon worriedly told her, “All of this was my fault, Heather. I’ll fix it. Don’t take my grandpa’s words to heart.”
He wanted to comfort her even though the empty words of reassurance made him feel guilty; after all, not everyone could change his grandfather’s mind.
Seeing through him right away, she shot him a cold glance. “How are you going to fix it? You have no strength to oppose your grandfather’s might.” Right now, they were caught between a rock and a hard place.
“The matter of our engagement concerns only us. It is no one else’s business.” He was well-aware of his rights even though he knew what his grandfather was capable of.
Right now, Heather’s head was pounding so hard that she felt like it was about to explode. “Whatever took place in the study wasn’t a discusison, Leon. Haven’t you understood him by now?” Given that the situation had progressed to such a point, there was no use saying anything else.
“Don’t worry about it, Heather. I have a way to fix things,” Leon repeated calmly, but his confident demeanor only made her more worried.
“How are you going to fix it? You can’t do anything stupid!” Heather told him trepidatiously. Knowing his temper, she was afraid he would do something to sabotage himself.
“Don’t worry about me. I only regret forcing you to help me,” he said apologetically. If he knew how things would turn out, he would never have dragged her into this mess with him.
“Don’t apologize to me. It’s not your fault. If anything, it’s my fault.” Right now, she didn’t want to hear his apologies. His behavior was making her feel uneasily like he had something up his sleeve.
“Let’s drop it,” he finally told her, much to her surprise. “I want to talk about something lighter.”
Cautiously, Heather studied him, but they were still within the dim interior of the car and she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. All of the sudden, she had the impression that she was growing further and further away from him.
“Promise me not to do anything stupid,” she enunciated clearly. It wasn’t a request—it was a plea.
Finally, he turned and gave her an oddly playful smile.
“I care too much about myself to do anything stupid, Heather,” he answered carelessly, which only made her even more nervous.
The worry on her face was so obvious that he couldn’t help laughing, simply because she was too adorable when she looked like that.
Leon loved it when Heather worried about him, since it let him know that he held a certain place in her heart. Fervently, he wished he could stop time and take a picture of this moment so that he could preserve it. There was nothing he wanted more than to be by her side for just a little while longer.
From how things looked right now, he no longer had any reason to stay by her side. Suddenly, he felt a little sad, but some things were decided, and he could not look back.
“You’re acting very weirdly and it’s scaring me, Leon,” she told him frankly. No matter what he said, she was not at ease with his behavior. For some reason, she just felt like he was not acting like he usually did.
“Do I turn left or right at the next junction, Heather?” he asked, seemingly in his own world and not registering her concern for him.
“Right,” she answered definitively.
“Thank you,” he answered with a slight smile, but she preferred it when he was grinning broadly or hopping mad with rage, and not when he was like this.
“Have you gone mad? Why are you thanking me?” she asked him, pained. She had no idea how to describe what she was feeling right now.
There was one thing she was afraid of, which was that he would one day put away his frivolous attitude. Having heard rumors about him, she knew what he was like in the past.
After having spent so long with him, she found that she was increasingly becoming unable to tell which one was the true Leon—the frivolous one or the one from before she met him.
And now, she felt like he was slowly reverting to his character from years before. When she thought back to the first time they met, she realized that they had heard of each other’s deeds long before they knew each other.
“Can’t I be a little polite, Heather?” he asked, sounding simultaneously helpless and affectionate. He didn’t know what she was worried about.
In truth, Leon thought he hid it well, but it seemed that he was wrong and that she could see through him at a glance. If anything, she was even close to guessing his plans.
“You know good friends don’t have to be so polite with each other,” she told him lightly. More and more, she was realizing the gravity of the situation. Was all of this his plan? Was he trying to say goodbye?
“I often apologize to you. It’s not so strange if I thank you occasionally,” he said with faux innocence. His eyes were clear, making her further confused as to whether to believe him. Yet, as if he was trying to change the topic once again, he reminded her, “We’ll reach the Langston Residence in 20 minutes.”
“Okay.” Heather’s voice was clear and unemotional, but Leon knew she was hiding her feelings.
It was obvious to him that her heart was currently in turmoil, but he had no idea how to hide his tracks or his innermost thoughts from her.
“Am I less annoying sometimes than at other times?” he asked, smiling so beatifically that she forgot to answer him for a moment.
After a beat, she recovered from his smile and hummed. “You’ve never been annoying. I’m the one who’s been annoying.” She had to admit that her personality was, in actual fact, the more grating one.
“No way. How could the person I loved be annoying?” he responded casually. “What do you think I should do if I accidentally love you for the rest of my life?”
It was jarring to see how serious he looked despite the levity of his question and his tone, and Heather had no idea what to make of it.
“Don’t love me for that long.” She felt uncomfortable right now and even a little jealous at the idea that he would fall in love with someone else in the future.
At the end of the day, she was an ordinary woman. After having him love her for so long, she was used to him and genuinely a little reluctant to give him to someone else.
“You like the version of me that loves you,” he teased, even taking his eyes off the road to do so.
“You’re a good man. There are plenty of reasons why someone would be moved by you. I’m honored to have your love and, sometimes, even selfishly wonder how nice it would be if you could keep loving me.” She had to take a good and honest look at herself. While she knew that it wasn’t right for her to think like that, she couldn’t help herself.
“Silly Heather. Do you know you’re moved by me and even feel possessive of me?” he asked, his voice pained. “Yet, you love Matthias and are so certain of it.” He thought he would be able to stay by her side forever, but it turned out that he couldn’t.
“I’m not moved by you or Matthias because I don’t even know what being ‘moved’ feels like. Maybe all I know about finding a romantic partner is following the clues and coming to a logical conclusion,” she answered self-deprecatingly but honestly. Maybe he was right and she did feel ‘moved,’ but it was too minor for her to take into account.
Seeing through her lie at once, he asked incredulously, “You’re not moved by Matthias? Why would you treat him so differently if you weren’t, and why would you be together? You have such a complicated relationship and seem, on the surface, completely like a pair who shouldn’t be dating. Is this your so-called ‘following the clues’?” In truth, he had known for a long time that she was moved by Matthias.
“I know. Perhaps that’s why I’m destined to be single for the rest of my life,” she joked, smiling so unnaturally that it looked worse than her crying.
“That won’t happen. I can tell how much he loves you. In fact, he might even love you as much as I do and be willing to abandon his family for you,” he reassured her, almost speaking to himself rather than to her. For her, he would renounce his entire family as well.
“I don’t know about that…” she mumbled vaguely, not understanding his meaning but not having a better response.
“You’re too cautious, Heather. You don’t let others approach you, and you hide yourself in your heart so deeply that, even now that you’re in love, you think about running away rather than growing closer to the object of your affections. Only cowards run away from love.” As he said that, he couldn’t help thinking of the preposterous things he did all those years ago. Even back then, he had known that she was running away from him, and yet he stubbornly insisted on finding ways to provoke her, ultimately causing his own downfall.
While he didn’t exactly look forward to seeing her with Matthias now, he still hoped she could find love and thus could only give her such advice as she tried to run away once again.
“Whatever is mine will be mine, even if I run away,” she opined with a brilliant smile. “But I know that I’m being ridiculous by running away and constantly denying our relationship even while I hope he’ll be able to withstand whatever I put him through and get me back.” She hated that she did that. Love shouldn’t have to be so difficult, and her behavior was hurting not only herself but Matthias as well.
“You’re not brave enough, that’s all. Everything you just said is an excuse for you to run away,” Leon answered, hitting the nail on the head. After so long, he finally understood the real Heather.
“I don’t want to listen to all of that, Leon. Let’s drop the topic.” How could a 20-minute ride take so long that he managed to give her such a thorough dressing-down?
Pushing away the sorrow and grief that was starting to permeate his heart, he told her lightly, “You’re the only one who can be brave for yourself, Heather. If, in the future, I’m no longer by your side, you must learn to be brave.”
“Did you stay by my side for so many years so that you could understand me so well?” she asked with a slight frown on her face. She didn’t want him to leave, especially at such a helpless moment, but she didn’t know how to get him to stay.
