It’s hard to talk about? Myra’s heart sank, because Heather never described anything that way. She shot Heather a look, telling her to keep talking.
“How does it feel to love someone?” Heather asked after much hesitation. She didn’t know how it felt to love someone, nor did she know how to fall for someone.
Myra shot her a look of surprise. “You have a crush?” That was the only reason for that question; at least, that was the only one she could think of.
Heather shook her head. “No. But I don’t dislike him either. It’s a weird feeling.” Heather looked confused, because even she couldn’t understand the relationship between her and Matthias.
Myra stared at her in disbelief. At that moment, she needed Heather to be completely honest with her, or she wouldn’t be able to give her any good advice. “Why’d you ask that question then?” Myra wasn’t about to be fooled. Obviously, she could see that Heather was going through something special in her life, and she could think of nothing else but romance. Heck, I can practically smell it off her.
“Because I don’t know how it feels to love, so I want to understand it,” Heather answered.
“But if you don’t know how it feels to love, how are you so sure that you don’t love that man?” Myra tried to set up a trap for her, since it would take a bit of work for her friend to admit she had a crush.
“Because I have never thought about dating him. If I don’t want to date him, then how can that be love?” Heather was getting serious, and anyone would think she was talking about recent affairs if they didn’t know better.
Now, Myra was looking at her with worry. She knew Heather hadn’t realized that she had fallen in love. “Loving someone and dating them are two different things. There are a lot of factors to account for in the dating scene. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you’d date them, and just because you date someone doesn’t mean you love them.” Myra decided to put her problems aside and counsel Heather. Her problems are bigger than mine.
Upon hearing that, Heather looked at her innocently. Myra could see the confusion in her eyes, and she realized Heather knew nothing about the ABCs of love. “Heather, look at me,” Myra told her seriously. “Have you had any breakthrough in romance?” She was reminded of how innocent Heather was. By now, Myra thought Heather would have started learning about the ABCs of love, but apparently, her friend was as ignorant as ever.
For that reason, Myra started worrying for her. Oh no. She received basic sexual education, but she knows nothing about love. D*mn, if this goes on, she’s going to run into some pervy b*stard sooner or later. Myra knew there weren’t any good men around Heather, and some were total manwhores.
The thought that Heather would date someone like that made her nervous, but when she thought about it, she realized Heather wouldn’t fall for someone like that either. Heather was a feminist, so she wouldn’t feel anything for misogynists. That was also one of the reasons Heather was still single.
With how much worse society was compared to school, Myra thought it would be harder for Heather to find a partner, since she couldn’t even get a boyfriend in high school. For some reason, Myra was starting to worry for her, as if she was Heather’s mom. She didn’t mind how old Heather was as long as she could find someone she loved.
Most people couldn’t stay single for life. They would need a partner, and with how happy things were going on between Myra and Tony, she naturally wanted Heather to be happy as well.
After all that explanation, she still doesn’t understand? Wow, now I know how those top scorers feel when they teach me stuff. No wonder she never dated. If she knew nothing, she would gain nothing.
“Let’s talk about you.” Heather shifted the topic. Since she couldn’t talk about her problem, she wanted to talk about Myra’s; at least she could help her friend out that way.
However, Myra wouldn’t let it slide so easily. She needed to have a long talk with Heather. Every time, she’d stop whenever Heather refused to speak, but not this time. She wanted to get to the bottom of it. “Don’t mind me. You wouldn’t ask me out for nothing. Stop running away from it. You love to help me, so let me help you for once. Just tell me what you have in mind.” Myra stood her ground and wouldn’t accept no for an answer.
Why did I ask her out? Heather didn’t want to tell her about Matthias, and she couldn’t talk about the agreement either. Since she had to keep the fact that Matthias was the source of her problems a secret, there was no point in the conversation. Myra could arrive at the conclusion if they kept it up, and that would be worse than Heather confirming it herself.
“Maybe I’m just lonely.” Heather started making up excuses now. She had to fool Myra no matter what.
“You’re lonely?” Yeah right. You’re always busy, so that’s not gonna happen. You don’t have time for it, nor would you fall for someone because you’re lonely.
“Yes. You’d feel like dating when you’re lonely, won’t you? And you’d even consider dating someone you would never give a chance to. That’s why I asked you what it means to love someone.” She lied through her teeth, but she genuinely wanted to know how it would feel like to love someone. Does affection equal love?
Myra didn’t believe her fully, but she decided to take the bait. “I can’t explain it to you, but you’ll know once it comes for you.” She couldn’t define love that easily, since love came in different forms, just like how she loved Sean and Tony differently.
She loved Sean because of a lot of factors back then, while she loved Tony with all her heart. She knew nobody else could be a better match for her than him, and sometimes she felt like they were one individual instead of two. Myra couldn’t explain all that to Heather, since words weren’t enough to describe it. Even if she could explain it, Heather might take it the wrong way.
“So you’re telling me to wait until fate comes knocking?” Heather smiled dryly. I’ve waited for years. It probably will never come.
“Maybe it will come sooner if you change your surroundings,” Myra said in a roundabout way.
Heather looked at her seriously. She wanted to know what Myra meant, then she realized Myra was saying that her circle was filled with bad men. None of them were close to the kind of person she liked, and she had to admit it. “You think something’s wrong with my circle?” she asked.
Myra nodded. “You like men who respect women, but the men in your circle can’t even stay loyal. Even if they could, none of them are good enough to attract you,” Myra explained. She was Heather’s friend after all, so she knew how Heather thought.
“Are you worried I might die alone if this keeps up?” Heather smiled. The atmosphere was getting too depressing, so she had to loosen it a little, or everyone would think they were talking about something serious.
“Haven’t you come across someone who’s loyal and brilliant enough to attract you?” Myra asked. It seemed simple, but those requirements alone eliminated most men in her circle.
“I do,” Heather answered after a moment of hesitation.
Myra’s eyes gleamed. Great! She looked into Heather’s eyes and continued, “When did you meet him?” Myra was getting excited that Heather finally decided to open up. Could that guy be the reason she’s so frustrated?
“I can’t remember. Only a handful of guys fit the bill of the person I would like, but…” Heather trailed off, and the suspense was killing Myra. “But I feel nothing.” Then, she shrugged. Even though their physical looks fitted the bill, their souls didn’t; personality and tastes were important too.
Myra gave her a look of defeat. I can’t talk about romance with her. Guess I’d talk about the market next time. Nonetheless, Myra didn’t give up. “You don’t like any of them?”
“Well, all except one or two, I guess.” Heather thought of Matthias right away. She could see his arrogant expression and the smirk he always wore whenever she closed her eyes. Matthias always looked so vivid to her whenever she thought about him, but she was confused, and she wondered what she felt about it. Is this love, or something else? I just can’t hate him.
“A couple of them?” Myra couldn’t believe it. The conversation had too many twists, and she felt glad she never talked about romance in depth with Heather before, or she might have punched Heather in the face. Her friend wasn’t someone who was great with words, and she’d say something suggestive only for it to be something innocuous.
“I want to approach him and talk to him. Is that love?” Heather asked curiously. At that point, she saw Myra as her mentor in romance.
“Well, you might be feeling some affection for him, and that makes him special. Did you make any moves on him?” Myra asked quickly. She was more concerned about her friend than herself.
“No,” Heather said. She wouldn’t make any moves when she knew relationships were a chore. She started having some thoughts of her own, though most of them were about how she could dodge the matter at hand. When it came to love, Heather was a coward; she’d rather evade the matter than face it head on. There was one time where she liked a boy in her school, and the boy had some feelings for her, but she just had to go and ruin it.
That incident left an indelible mark on her. She knew Myra was worried about her, so she wondered if she should tell Myra about that little incident at school. Maybe I shouldn’t have brushed it off. I should have asked Myra about her thoughts.
